The Story of Obaid’s Heart (May 13, 2021)

**This story was included in a newsletter update that went out via email on May May 11, 2021.

Obaid was one of the earliest children to come to the House of Flowers Montessori Orphanage in 2002.  He was then about 7 years old. Obaid was born with paralyzed legs. Despite the physical challenges he faced, he thrived, was intellectually apt, and blended well with the other children. They all played together, and they often carried him on their backs during games. He was a confident leader among them, outspoken and strong.
He finished his high school, left the House of Flowers, and moved on to make a life for himself in the Afghan society, living with an uncle.
But after a few years, the bitter reality of being handicapped in a survivalist society hit him hard. It was very hard to find a job that would suit his physical conditions. Meeting people who treated him with disrespect humiliated him. People constantly called him ‘ma’yub’ or crippled. Years of this during the critical time of young adulthood disturbed him tremendously and broke his self-confidence.
Now 28 years old, Obaid recently reached out to Fatima and Nik Mohammad and came to visit the Garden of Flowers. Besides sending greetings to us, he also asked whether we could help him find a job where physically challenged people can work and are respected.But here is what he shared that hit us hard:

“The best years of my life were spent in the House of Flowers. I thought out that there in the world it would be exactly like the HoF; everyone would love me, no one would notice or make a comment about my handicap; I never noticed that I was handicapped…but now I am a ma’yub’ every minute of my life, with no job, and no one is willing to give me a job, let alone to acknowledge that I am a human being – I am simply a ma’yub in their eyes. In fact, I am a crippled man.”

As much as the searing words of this young man are heartbreaking and disappointing, we hope for Obaid and for us and the Garden of Flowers that this is the beginning of a fresh start. Obaid needs to rebuild his broken self-confidence and be given back the dignity he lost.
We are now working with our colleagues in Kabul on the idea of giving him a job as a book-keeper and assistant teacher in the Garden of Flowers, hoping to locate a salary for him in our limited budget. **Update: As of this posting, a generous donor has offered to cover Obaid’s salary for the next year! 
Long-time staffers Fatima and Nik Mohammad have been so unconditionally welcoming to Obaid, so caring and positive, that during a recent Whatsapp call with all of them, Obaid worked hard to hold back his own tears. And after the call, our teacher Razia who grew up with Obaid in the House of Flowers could not hold back her tears, sharing his pain. The connection and bond among these beautifully courageous individuals in Kabul moves us deeply. Their lives are intertwined, even in struggle. It reminds us : We must focus on what we can do. We can all be there for Obaid.

As  Fatima-jan said, we need to look into the future and move forward, and that is the plan in regards to Obaid. We hope that reconnecting with those who cared for him during his childhood, as well as spending time with the young children of the Garden of Flowers, will soothe his bruised heart.